Category: Dating and Relationships
Sorry everyone I hit the enter boutton by accident.
Here's My problem I have a boyfriend whose almost never on here. He comes on atleast onces a week or less. When he does come on it's great I love him so much, but it hurts me that he never is on here. Lately hes been saying hes having issues with his ex. I belive him and he says she upsets him very much. I want to be there for him, But how can I if hes never on?? I've emailed him to tell him how I feel, but he hasnt been here yet to read it. I dont want to break up with him but I dont wanna deal with all this pain and worry either. Hopefully the email will make him see that I'll always be here for him and he'll come on here more and turn to me more. Till then I guess I just have to wait. Thanks for listing everyone *smiles*
Don't you have any other messengers or stuff like that, or can't you call him? I know how that feels, but there must be another way of communicating than emailing or the zone. For example, if I couldn't call my BF ... that would be much harder for me.
Forgive me, but you call this guy your boyfriend, and you say you love him, yet you only speak to him once a week on the zone? And nowhere else? Sorry but that doesn’t exactly sound like a real relationship to me. Be there for him by all means, I know people I don’t talk to very often and I care about them and would be there for them, but a relationship is something you have to work on, that isn’t exactly going to happen if your only means of communication is the zone and you’ve never even actually spoken in person.
I agree, Claire, but each to their own I think ...
yeah course, but come on let's get real here! Sure it is totally possible to develop feelings for someone you have never met, it is totally possible even to think you love someone who you have never met, an attraction can develop purely by talking to someone, but once that happens there has to be intent! If this guy only comes on line once a week and doesn't call or email or there are no plans to meet, then the relationship has no future!
I agree with everything SugarBaby has said. It sounds like a one-way relationship. You care for him a lot more than he cares for you. You need to try to pin him down and get more from him or just give up and look elsewhere. Sorry if that sounds harsh, but life is too short to sit around waiting for someone to change his mind and say he cares.
Claire, this is another topic. Don't get me wrong but he just asked what to do. I mean, we already have said that you can'tsay "we're in love".
Actually I think the fact this is an internet relationship is very much relevant! If this girl had posted saying “my boyfriend only comes round to see me once a week because he’s having problems with his ex”, then I would say well have it out with him next time he comes over, If you love him, and think you want a future with him, then talk it through. but the fact of the matter is this girl has never met, has never spoken in person even, to this guy she claims is her boyfriend! I only brought up the internet aspect because the type of relationship determines the course of action. But ok I’ll be perfectly blunt then. You have never met this guy, you have never even spoken to him in person, and with no intent to do that the relationship has no future. So if the relationship has no future, then there is no point continuing to worry about it, so .. tell him you’re there fore him by all means, but move on in the romance department, and find someone you can actually have an actual, physical, relationship with. And by physical I’m not talking about sex I just mean a relationship where you can have concrete plans to meet at least.
Flying Eagle hmm what a predicament he is making you do all the running around while he does his best to remain annonymous...you can do better than run aftera guy who gives you very little in return..believe me this kind of relationship is very destructive as he is clearly extremly selfish...
I agree with Claire. Sorry, but you're the only one who cares, and it is not practical anyway if you have never met the guy to worry so much about someone with whom you exchange a few messages per week.
Goblin, I agree. It seems it is not that important for him to talk to you more often. It really seems like that.
If he can't rouse himself to talk with his lover via email what else can't he be bothered doing....
hello everyone thanks for replying to my post. I have taken everything you guys have told me and thought about them. I have written him an email telling him how I feel and if he still doesnt come on then maybe it should be that we just be friends
I think this is a good idea, personally. Good luck.
well just give it time.
well, I think the idea of telling him how you feel is good, you hopefully will find out where you stand with him though I'm very sorry to say i have to wonder. 1 reason I don't care for long distance relationships is just that, the losign contact issue but hopefully you can get in touch with him and see really how he feels.
Oh that old discussion again.
Hmm I understand your reluctance to end the relationship I think staying friends with this guy will be damaging in the long run, by wanting to hold on to him you have just given him more of an opportunity to mess you around...And he may take advantage of the fact that you are unable to fully let go...
ummm I just wanted mopre peeps opions mostly my friends I mean people who I dont know can give their opion of course I mean thats why its here. I am going to break up with him by monday and I have this crazy horried thought in the back of my mind and I've been thinking it ever since last thursday. But he said something to me and it set alarm bell off in my head. He said he was thinking alot latley I asked about what he didnt answer and he hasnt been on now for 8 days. I've been thinking and I'm praying that im wrong but I thuink he may have hurt him self or something. Hes having a really tough time with his ex and its painful enough for even the strongest people not to go overboard. So I dont know I am gonna write him and tell him its ver and honestlyu goblin my ex who I had an intimate relationship with I still wanted friendship with him. so I think it will be the same with him and just to let you know because I think its okay to tell you who it is its Jbear aka Justin who lives in WI thats who it is so IO dont know whether or not it will affect anyones views on this topic
Now that is suspicious to me as well. It is a good idea to break upin this case, even though it might not be easy.
um, can't help but agree with SB here. what's a relationship if ya only talk on the zone? I'm kinda finding that hard to grasp fullstop! Lol
I agree. As long as you have not met that person, ... can you really be in love then?
break up with him by all means. he's not the only fish in the sea, and you deserve better. best of luck to you, and get rid of him asap!
*hugs* top beautiful dorian thanks thats very sweet and actually Ive been trying but the sites not letting me LOL I think its againset me and him breaking up LOL
But then the site is the only "one" or thing that is against it lol.
we broke up so yeah this post doesnt need replying to anymore because my issues over thank you one and all say hey if you wish on the zone public chat bye
I starfly agree with the people who say "how can a relationship thrive when there is know physical contact."
I didn't need to know his identity if you want to stay friends with this user then feel free but you are heading for a very long and painful fall and if he has hurt himself, will he expect you to be there each time..surely he can only ask you so many times,before you eventually become drained by his selfish refusal to seek help...also if he has attempted suicide, it may be he's using it as a form of emotional blackmail which is sick...don't say you haven't been warned
I think that men have a harder time saying that they are in love more then woman.
For some women, at least, it comes naturally, but for most men, I think it's scary.
I think that men have a harder time saying that they are in love more then woman.
For some women, at least, it comes naturally, but for most men, I think it's scary.